f*@?!# off!!!!!!

Here I go again. Okay nahiritan ko si Aussie kanina. He was asking for ideas/ concepts eh alam naman nya na super multi-tasking ako kahapon because I was doing Shela's job! Putcha tlga noh! I hate it when he said, "Why No-ooo??!?!" and "Stop making excuses!" TAE MO! Mamatay ka na! Uuugggghhhhh! Sorry sobrang bad trip ko lang talaga. Alam mo yung feeling na nasa resign mood ka na nga tapos ganito pa nangyayari. I just e-mailed my resume to Saatchi a while ago. I don't know. I really have to make it, or else I'm doomed. Well, I can still resign and all, pero yun nga, ung punyetang 30 days na yan, parusa tlaga noh.

AYYYOOOOKKKOOOOOO NAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Shit tlga, bad trip. Naiinis lang ako lalo at di ako makaisip ng lecheng ideas. Gusto ko na syang i-text na "I realized this job isn't for me. Thank you." Tang ina tlga. (Uy 1st time ko magmura sa blog) Anyway, I'm just so pissed. I need to cool down. I hope by the time I end this entry, medyo okay na 'ko. Buti nga sa pagsulat ko na lang nalalabas galit ko eh. (at sa gym, music or tv) Hehe. Haay naku naiinis tlga ko. Nagtext si Pong looking for gimmick. Sabi ko, sila namn magplano. Tapos biglang nagtext after a while saying na game ung isang tao sa movie gimmick. Ah leche ewan ko sa kanya. Naasar lang ako lalo. Pag ako na-iinvite laging rejected. Nakakasawa na magmukhang tanga. Sabi ko kay Pong, bahala na, di ko feel at dito na lang ako sa Makati manonood ngayon, kasi bad trip ako. Ewan ko naiiyak na ko. Ang tindi na ng inis na 'to. Ewan ko ba. Nagsama-sama na yata. I just want to be alone, or be with Aja kasi kahit tahimik ako kasama sya, okay lang. Anyway, if ever, I'll just watch a movie alone. Feel ko rin mapag-isa at manahimik lang. Nakakawa naman kasi ung lalabasan ko ng sama ng loob. Haayyyyy... I feel terrible about everything. I don't know. It's like I'm stuck in a rut, and I can't get myself out even if I'm struggling already. i just want to be out of this job. That's all. That would already lessen the burden. But if ever I get in the jobs I've applied for, then I'm dead again. I don't know what to do anymore. Mama obviously doesn't want me to bum. I guess it's a pride thing. Ah ewan. She just doesn't want her daughter bumming at home because it's not a sign of "success". Fuck. Purssuing success makes me want to jump off a building already. I am just so pissed off. I'm so pressured. I mean, I also pressure myself to some extent, but it's really sucks to pursue a goal, at the expense of one's happiness. Hmm. That's contradicting. I dunno anymore. This sucks. I feel bad, and I just wanna escape from it all. Haay bad trippppp....