Belated Happy Mother's Day!

From Young Blood, Phil. Daily Inquirer

Baby virus
By Ching Jorge


FOR the past eight months, I've been having sleepless nights. I have had to eat and use the computer with just one arm free. My friends have stopped asking me to go out at night. I have had to cut six inches off my hair. I'm not used to wearing heels anymore. I have moved up one size. And yet, I am having the greatest time of my life!

Eight months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and life has never been the same. All my experiences, good and bad, all my heartaches and joys brought me to that day, and I entered a new chapter in my life an entirely different person.

Before Natalia Louise came into my life, work and fun were my priority. Growing up in a society where work and socializing went hand in hand, and being the workaholic that I was, I couldn't have just one job at a time; I always had to have more. I would have two to three jobs at a time, and my schedule was filled up from 6 a.m. to midnight. Work was my life.

Socializing was another priority. Whatever free time I had was spent with my friends or going to parties or visiting the newest bars. There was never a moment when I had nothing to do and nowhere to go.

Then I found out that I was pregnant. From that moment, everything changed. Apart from undergoing physical, spiritual and emotional changes, I had to take a leave from work due to premature contractions.

Staying at home was a totally new experience. At one point, the doctor ordered bed rest and the farthest I was allowed to go was the bathroom.

But as always, I looked at the bright side of things. I considered my situation as a chance for me to reflect and look back and see where I was and where I wanted to go. It was time for true reflection and spending time with family. I had never thought the day would come when I would enjoy not working. I finally found the time that I never thought I had.

This period became a time of discovery for me -- discovery of self, discovery of family, discovery of true friendship and discovery of the simple rules of life. I also discovered that I am truly blessed and that there is more of myself that I can give and share with others; that there is nothing more important than having a family, loving your family and keeping your family intact; that friendship is indeed tried and tested over time and that challenges bring out the best and worst in friends; and that a life of sincere selflessness is much more rewarding than several lifetimes of material achievements.

I learned so much in just nine months! What more if we were to give ourselves more time to reflect every day.

Aside from becoming a new mother, I was also going to be a single mom. I suppose I was a little too old to be irresponsible. But I was surprised by the comments I got during the course of my pregnancy and after. Of course, my mother's world was shattered when she found out I was pregnant, but society has either become liberated or some married women have been very unhappy and now I am told that I am lucky I don't have to worry about a husband. I do not want to glorify my situation, but accepting it and making the most of it are certainly working for me.

My ex-boyfriend acknowledges my daughter but does not want anything on paper for fear of lawsuits in the future. He is more than willing to "help out" on the condition that I ask him for help first and promise not to sue him. I guess that says a lot about his character and values, some of so many things you don't see when you are blinded by infatuation. Another lesson in life.

Giving birth was another thing. The roller coaster of emotions I went through during my pregnancy became a blimp after I gave birth to my baby girl. Experiencing the miracle of life is truly a life-altering experience. Not only did my daughter change my life overnight and turn me into a more secure, happier and contented person it also changed my family as well.

We call it the baby virus. Not only did she infect me with it when I was pregnant, giving me patience and hope and changing my perspective on life, but now that she's out, she is infecting everyone around her. Once-weekly family get-togethers have become nightly events. Relatives whom we used to see only on special occasions have become regular visitors. My formerly anti-social, serious and undemonstrative father now dances and sings nursery rhymes and is first to discover my daughter's new tricks. My brother, who used to be so busy at work and to come home late, now rushes home to catch my daughter awake. My teenage sister, who was living in her own teen world, has come out of her shell to become a delightful aunt to my daughter. And my mom, who used to give me lectures when I was pregnant, now tells the whole world about her granddaughter and is no longer afraid to tell anyone I am a single mom. Everyone has been gloriously infected. It's the kind of virus that spreads overnight and lasts a lifetime.

It is only now, after experiencing the miracle of life, that I have realized that I am truly worthy and blessed. All challenges truly have their rewards. God chose me to be the mother of such a beautiful and amazing baby. What else can be more important than that?

So what if I can't sleep at night. Watching my baby sleep is more relaxing. So what if I don't get to wear trendy clothes, I am happy enough that my pants don't fall off when I am carrying my daughter. So what if I can't go to the latest parties or the new bars. I'm having my own party with my daughter, singing and dancing to her every day. So what if I have to cut my long hair. I'd rather have a bad hair day than get her delicate skin irritated. So what if I have to miss a night out. I'd rather be up early to get my baby ready for the day and myself ready for work. So what if I am a couple of pounds overweight. I'm bursting with love and happiness. So what if I am single and unmarried. I want my daughter to have all of my time and be surrounded by family and friends who love her 100 percent! What matters most to me is that I don't miss a minute of the miracle that she is and that I become the best mom I can be.

If you would ask me if I am still a workaholic and if work still takes top priority, I'd still say yes. My daughter is my work and my life. I've been infected with a virus that just won't go away and has transformed me into a Best Mom in the World wannabe. It's the ultimate virus, one that doesn't call for a cure because it is the cure.